I will be writing a blog post soon on how to cope/deal with panic attacks as far more suffer with them than you realise. For now, I was asked by my therapist to write a description of how they can be an enemy as well as friend. This will probably be deleted, but I thought I'd share it anyway.
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An intruder of your thoughts, feelings, behaviour and bodily responses... otherwise known as a panic attack. It has the ability to drown you under a thick layer of anxieties, keeping a tight grip as you struggle for air. This may be gradual, like a room slowly closing in on you, or all at once as though a tidal wave is sweeping you off your feet. Blocking all rational thoughts whilst swamping your mind with dread and a sense of growing urgency to escape, yet you lack the ability to suppress the enemy within your mind. It proves its power by triggering the shaking of limbs, the loss of breath and distorted vision, you are temporarily a guest within this body. Although now a viewer of this mind and body everything feels just as intense. Any attempt to seize back the power of your imagination fails or is somewhat subtle; you cannot harness it. It doesn't matter how determined or strong-willed you are, it is equally as determined because it's you. The self destructive part of you.
A deterrent from all that is threatening, prompting you with cognitive and physical awareness of suspected risks. The alarm you can rely on to keep sounding until you are out of danger, no matter what you do to turn it off, to let it know it was wrong. It acts as as hypocritical protector. Cloaking you with awareness yet causing what it looks to avoid; fear. It cares a little too much, the type of care that smothers you. It triggers helpful devices, the mist or sensation of glass shielding you from judgement. The recognition that there is not a physical protector with you and that you have your own, inside your head.
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