2014, the year of the seemingly average teenager being depressed. I'm not referring to clinical depression, but the general term indicating low-lows and continuously dampened moods. The question I often get asked from friends/twitter followers is something along the lines of 'How do you stay so happy/positive?'
 | |
| Excuse the bad grammar of this ask.fm anon, but it was too cute not to include. |
I've never been quite sure of how to answer this question, but as I've become more accepting of my own state of mind, I've wanted to help other people change their way of thinking. Firstly, nobody is happy every single second for 365 days a year. Nobody. Human nature is to experience a variety of emotions including happiness, but also sadness, anger, jealously, excitement, confusion... and many more!! I don't think I would want to be happy all the time because I would become something of an emotionless robot. There is no secret. Just one key word. Perspective.You can always take control of your emotions and guide them to a certain extent. Yes, they are spontaneous and somewhat out of your control, but your way of thinking can certainly trigger positive emotions. This may sound far easier said than done, but it's actually not. Life throws circumstances at you that inevitably make you feel sad/negative. Bad exam results? Relationship problems? Insecurities? Family issues? It's not an easy ride. But 'life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it.' For example, person A might miss their train, miss half their first lesson of the day at college, only to arrive and find out they got a bad grade in a mock exam. They feel awfully discouraged, almost hopeless. They feel as though they are failing at everything, that this is the grade they are stuck with and that the lessons topic is harder to understand due to missing half an hour of it. Coincidentally, person B had exactly the same morning. However, they realise this mock grade is only a stepping stone. Yes, it was a disappointment, but they have feedback on what to improve on and are more determined than ever to do better. This resolve continues and motivates them to spend extra time on the topic covered in that mornings lesson as they missed teaching time.
Perspective.
When sadness looms it may be conquerable by simply thinking "you know what, screw this, I want to be happy so I'm going to be happy." This must be your choice for you!!! Nobody else. To benefit you. You have the ability to deal with the issue or push it to the back of your mind, whichever it takes to make yourself happy. Let's be clear, I don't mean make yourself in reference to 'fake smiling' and pretending. I mean genuinely changing your current emotion. Making yourself think happy. Think positive. Think sparkles n love because you can?? Because you have that ability?? Because a little sadness sporadically is a healthy outlet, but too much of it is mentally, physically, and socially damaging!!
If you're trying to drag yourself out of weeks (or even months) of misery, despondency, despair and negative thinking suddenly 'being' happy won't feel natural. It won't. It may even feel like you're pretending. Maybe you are? But trying, trying to believe it, and wanting it, deciding you've had enough works. You'll get into the habit of thinking positively and being in a natural state of happiness just as quickly as one may have got into a frenzy of hardcore gloominess.
***DISCLAIMER: this post is aimed at those who are stuck in or suffering with low moods. Not those diagnosed with clinical depression or other ongoing symptoms as I understand there may be a biological/chemical cause and you cannot simply 'change' that or just 'be' happy, although adjusting your basic thinking patterns may still help.***
Samaritans UK:
Confidential support for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair.
Phone: 08457 90 90 90 (24-hour helpline)
List of mental health helplines UK:
No comments:
Post a Comment